All Natural

There are a few things every boy should get the opportunity to learn from their fathers.  I realize not everyone is lucky enough to share these moments and learn these things, but for point of entertainment we will reference things your dad can teach you and things dad 'should have mentioned'.  Every boy should get to play toss with their dad.  Learn how to catch a fish.  And of course learn how to be a man.  These are of course traditions every boy wants to pass along, but I think somewhere along the line there are things that are failed to be mentioned.

One of the biggest things your dad probably will not teach you is how to avoid getting sucker punched.  Maybe you talk to the wrong girl or say the wrong thing in a crowd and the next thing you know is you are lying on the ground looking up at the sky.  Your father may tell you about the birds and the bees, but many times they forget to really explain women to you.  Now I do not want to get into this in great detail due to our women viewers, but let us just say there is no manuals that come with women.  But the one I have recently been reintroduced to that most dads won't dare talk about is guy code in the locker room.

There really is no secret getting a group of guys in a locker room is a recipe for trouble.  You walk into a locker room and the last thing a guy will do is start small talk about a hottie in the gym or discuss local politics with a stranger.  This nonetheless will not occur with a man that has jumped out of the shower and parades themselves around the rest of the locker room.  This is a definite man law.  I have a few pet peeves, but seeing a man (all of a man) walk around in a locker room is just unnecessary.  Not saying all men do this so ladies don't start breaking into men locker rooms with your hopes up, but the last thing you want to see is someone who could be your grandfather show you the whole shebang.  To make matters worse in my case is there are multiple old men parading around showing things that absolutely no one wants to see.  Maybe it is because there wife of fifty years says take it somewhere else or they decided that the locker room is there nude room.  Either way dad just can't prepare you for this.  To make matters worse, my local gym has decided to implement a change your shoes rule which I am more than fine with, but every time I go in to the locker room I don't want to make eye contact with anyone and you sure as heck don't want to look down.  This is a problem I will have to get back to my cubies on because there is not a simple solution.  

On another note, the Super Bowl is tomorrow and it seems like everyone is making predictions.  Yes, the Steelers have a chance to become the first NFL franchise to win six Super Bowls, but instead of me jumping on the bandwagon of making a prediction.  Instead, I will give you my prediction on an even bigger event going on which could make history.  Nadal/Federer for the 2009 Australian Open.  Most of you are scratching your head going what is bigger than the Super Bowl and those awesome commercials, but this year the Australian Open could make history.  How you ask?  Federer could tie the all-time record of Pete Sampras by defeating Nadal which is actually an incredible feat.  Stringing together seven wins in a major tournament is very difficult to do, especially beating the best athletes in the world in your sport to do so.  

Bottom line:  Federer ties one of the most difficult records in all of sports at the Aussie Open.

The greatest movie of all time.

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Rastlin'

Recently, I joined the world of Netflix.  For those who aren't aware of what Netflix is all about or were like me thinking it were some great scam it actually is a pretty simple and easy way to catch up on the movies you have meaning to watch, but would rather wait until your local network puts it on for you years later for free.  I will be the first to say I have been missing out and I have really done nothing but watch movies during my free trial period.  With this being said, I got the bright idea to rent an old series of wrestling movies from the late 80's and early 90's to be thoroughly entertained like many of us in our 20's and 30's were at the time.  Now if you were growing up anywhere in the United States during this time period as a kid, I am pretty sure you were dialed in to seeing the Macho Man snap into a slim jim or being a part of Hulkamania.  Of course as a kid it seems that these men are larger than life and in some cases this may be true, but when I received my first video I began to just laugh and laugh.  

Now, I looked and looked for a video of the match of Rick Rude and Ricky Steamboat in the 1988 Royal Rumble, but for purposes besides the match itself.  The lady in the front row has a megaphone for the first few minutes screaming at every chance she got for Steamboat to "rip his arm off."  This wouldn't be so funny normally, but when she is wearing one of the hats that has clapping hands on it and once again to disappointment to my fellow cubies, there were no images available.  I guess you will have to use your imagination.  I was got to live every kids dream and got to go to two live wrestling events, but thankfully there were no stipulations of me having to grow a mullet or put on face paint.  Those images could have haunted me still today.

I write about this because I want people to realize when you see two 20 or 30 something old guys trying to apply the sleeper hold or my personal favorite the razor's edge.  I am pretty sure the first time I tried this on one of my friends which I think may have been in a pool, I thought I broke his neck, but I think I just stunned him long enough to put a finishing move on him.  Don't act like you haven't tried one because I am pretty sure at some point during this time period you did some wrestling move to one of your friends.  It is a shame my one friend hasn't kept track of how many stunners he has given, but I am sure it is in the thousands.  My point is with all of this why has wrestling gone downhill?  I blame it mainly on the lack interest with the uncreative names that are being used today, but most importantly the involvement with steroids.  

Sadly, wrestling has been tagged with steroids because of a few such as Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero to name a few.  Instead of George Mitchell spending time investigating baseball players like Barry Bonds, we could have our government dollars spent more wisely on keeping professional wrestling in the spotlight.  I am well aware this may not seem like a compelling argument, but think about it for a second.  What little kid was watching Mark McGwire get juiced on a Monday night and what kid was watching Monday Night Raw (if your parents would let you stay up that late).  Obviously, our government dollar was not going to be spent on fixing our economy and you cannot say that wrestling did not have its popularity because look at "The Body."  

Bottom line: Stop the roid rage.

Undertaker Intro

Big Head and Big Arms

For those of you who paid attention in your junior high history class, you may have learned there are fifty different states in the United States.  Shocking to some, but being a 'lifer' from West Virginia, one would be a surprised how many times people have to be corrected that you are not from the western part of Virginia.  Puzzling to many how this may have occurred, but the state has been around since 1863.  I lived the majority of my life in northern West Virginia, but in the past year have resided in southern West Virginia.  To paint a picture for those not familiar or still scratching their head wondering why I keep discussing Virginia, when you have been driving on a road and said you feel like you are going to drive off the end of the earth that is where i live.  I would place a googlemaps link, but all you would see are trees.  Describing where I work is going to the end of the earth, falling off, and keep going.  If any of you have ever driven on Route 3, I give you props, and for those who have not, save a trip to the theme park and do a road trip in the winter time down Route 3.

Now, it is only right that we lay down the ground rules for this blog.  There really are no rules other than I have the last word, and this is a PG13 site.  For those of you who would like to leave inappropriate comments or videos, I suggest looking elsewhere because I am here to entertain and make you raise your eyebrows.  Also, I should note that names will not be used unless you do something worthy of taking abuse from the cubicle nation.  With that out of the way, let us get down to business.

I could bore you with the same old story, but once again it is all about entertainment and raising eyebrows.  Recently, I busted out my Nintendo 64 which I must say is the best system of all time due to probably the best game of all time James Bond Goldeneye.  Now I grew up on the original Atari (which of course I still have) and the original Nintendo and have played and/or owned every system since, but lets face it, Goldeneye changed the way gamers play video games.  For all of you who play first player shooting games, you can give your props to Rare.  Of course there are the few of you out there that have absolutely no idea what in the world I am talking about, but those of you who know what I am referring to know you have hidden in the ceiling in the bathroom to secure a win more than once.  You may also have played countless hours to unlock the big head and big arms.  Now, if you made it this far and weren't turned away by the title, you definitely are nodding your head saying I spent most of my late 90's or may have changed your major after spending an entire semester on the multiplayer which of course will remain nameless.  Either way, video games have come a long way since then and for my older fans, your kids ask you to get them the newest PS3 for Christmas and by the end it looks like this.   We have come a long way from Pong to some of the most popular game titles of today.

Bottom line: Bring back the big head and big arms.

James Bond Goldeneye

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