Dinner for Five Part III

Big moments is what I am all about.  I consider this the 4th quarter or home stretch with the end in sight.  Of course there were many choices on who should be joining me at the final table and no sorry it won't be including Mike 'The Mouth' Matusow.  I have thought long and hard about this (maybe ten minutes really) and thought it only be right to have my last supper with four sports stars.  Now these are not your typical sports stars because let's face it, we won't play golf like Tiger or hit a homer in PNC park.  Not saying the Pirates do either, but we are looking at the big picture so try and focus.

There are many movies where entertainers have gotten to shine, but only four really stood out in my mind.  I will first give the honorable mentions.  Rudy's star Sean Astin would easily be invited if it weren't for one major problem.  Now I know I will get heckled for this seeing Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn are the masterminds behind Dinner for Five, but let's face it, South Bend is South Bend and Notre Dame is not part of any vocabulary of anyone who is a true West Virginia fan.  Argue that if you want because that is how I feel.  Another one who deserves mention is Charlie Sheen as 'Wild Thing' which would normally deserve a chair except for being mentioned in a previous blog which I guess eliminates him.  Of course to even my own surprise Matt Damon has not received mention since he is in about every movie imaginable, but his role as Bagger Vance was not enough to snag him a seat.  I did however chose to pick Kevin Costner for two reasons: Field of Dreams and Tin Cup.  Take your pick really, but Costner has every man who plays golf trying the ol' tin cup now and again and let's face it 'If you build it they will come'.

Since we are on the golf theme this man needs absolutely no introduction.  He has hooked up with some of the finest ladies in Hollywood when you look like this.  Call him what you want, Happy Gilmore has established himself for taking down 'Shooter' McGavin and telling Bob Barker that the price is wrong.  This was really the beginning of people taking large divots out of the ground trying to hit the long ball.  But I think the one interesting fact about Mr. Sandler that I would have to ask is how it was hooking up with Pete Sampras's wife in Billy Madison.  Sorry Pete, but you got sloppy seconds from this guy.  

Not like any of my picks need any real introduction and MJ is no exception.  If arguably the world's greatest basketball player is willing to team up with Bugs Bunny and travel to Moron Mountain to battle the Mon Stars then he deserves a chair nonetheless.  Six championships not enough for you?  Well, he is one of the greatest players ever to wear a Tar Heel uniform and anyone who wears there UNC college shorts under their pro jersey, well yea enough said.

Last and by no means least was the reason why I would ever consider boxing.  'Yo, Adrien' play some Eye of the Tiger.  Anyone who can take down Apollo Creed, Mr. T, and the Russian.  If Sylvester Stallone wants to step in the ring with any of those guys more power to him.  Rocky is really the only reason I can think of anyone would ever want to trade blows with boxing gloves, and I can't imagine listening to workout music without having something playing from a Rocky soundtrack.  If you don't get pumped up from one of these songs obviously something is wrong with you.  All four men have earned their rightful spot and I thought I would end the series on a high note.

Not often do I make mistakes (seeing I am as close to Perfect as the man himself), but when you make a mistake you have to man up to it.  Well, I made a mistake.  I previously laughed to myself when I made reference to waiting on top of the Empire State Building hoping to run into my valentine Brittany Snow.  I laughed because I thought really who goes to New York for Valentine's Day and even though a Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan reunion would be nice I thought the idea was a little silly.  Instead, I learned today that Brittany Snow was in New York over Valentine's Day.  For some reason, my gut told me I would eat my words and well I was right.  I am sure she was having dinner with a view of the Empire State Building and said, "Ryan Rottman, I've got to go."  Yup her words not mine.  Of course I was a no show and she was forced to go back to him in the mean time.  Good news is in about a week Brittany I will be in your hometown of Tampa and I promise not to leave you hanging again.  I would say have your people call my people, but they might as well call me because I have no people.  Don't forget though, I will be in town, lose that other guy and let's hang out.

And as mentioned before, I know the blog needs updated so if anyone has any suggestions or knows how to do any cool things to it let me know. 

I couldn't help myself.

KylesBottomLine

King of the Land

It's almost official.  The best job in the world in Queensland will not be graced with my amazing skills not to mention my creative story blogs that I grace my fellow cubies with week by week.  Since islandreefjob.com makes their website so easy to navigate through, and multiple application attempts on my part, I have officially given up.  I keep waiting for the box to come up PC load letter error to appear, but it is yet to happen.  Instead I am greeted with file sizes to small and photos that do not meet the criteria of whatever server the company is using that I am trying to download to.  My response to all of this is nothing is worth three attempts with no guarantees.  A lame response I know, but as we get closer to the deadline it is probably safe to say the site is only become more overwhelmed.  I guess it's back to square one on my future trip to Australia and will have to come out of pocket.

To add insult to injury, I got another lovely text message by my phone service provider asking me to upgrade.  Now usually when something wants you to upgrade it is supposed to make things better.  It could not have come at worse timing because I needed to make a phone call and every time I hit ignore it would pop back up in a new screen.  I am sure most of you can relate.  So I think to myself how long can this possibly take?  25 minutes later and several downloads, I felt like I was trying to shut my computer down like Mr. Gibbons on a Friday afternoon.  Then after much agony, I got my update which changed absolutely nothing that I already had except for probably the latest version of 7.2.3 instead of 7.2.2.

On one last note, the other day I made my weekly trip to the supermarket.  I have finally come to the conclusion that no matter what I do or what I think I am doomed to get the most defective shopping cart available.  Some of you I am sure can feel my pain unless you just refuse to do the shopping which I understand why you would.  Who wants to be the one pushing the cart around drawing tons of attention with the squeeky wheels or the bad wheel that when you make a turn could randomly knock you into another cart or a local shelf.  This seems to happen to me more times than not and even though my pregame ritual of standing and doing a practice push sometimes does not prepare me for the adventure I am about to endure.  I am hoping that my local market will upgrade to a more advanced shopping cart so if it is inevitable for me to run into something, I can at least strike terror into my fellow shoppers instead of getting dirty looks as I do my 5 minute weekly shopping.  

Bottom line:  Don't expect to be looking for me reenacting Survivor Man chasing down kangaroos yelling 'Crikey' any time soon.

Free time not well used.

KylesBottomLine

Dinner for Five Part II

In the spirit of President's Day, I thought it to only be fitting to make the second part of my three part series of Presidents sitting at my table.  I think my fellow cubemates have a better understanding of how this works from the last time.  It is pretty safe to say I would be willing to light a stogie with Vince and Jon despite not ever having any desire to smoke, and if I could only have dinner for two I think I made it pretty obvious who that special someone would be.

Many of you are probably thinking (now that I actually know people read the blog!) great he is going to make us sit here and read about guys who ran the country hundreds of years ago.  Sorry guys and gals not going to be the case.  These people however are rulers of the U.S. at some point in time through the Hollywood scene.  The first and probably one of the best presidents of all time was Chris Rock in Head of State.  Mainly known for his stand up comedy, Chris Rock would definitely be an entertaining character and presidential figure to wine and dine with.  Of course with the way things are right now, Chris would only have one thing to say, "That ain't right!."  

Next would be the man we know as Indiana Jones.  I am pretty sure Harrison Ford needs no introduction and listing his many accomplishments would take more time than I care to write.  I know ladies eat your heart out, but I think after watching Air Force One and seeing what Harrison does to the terrorists, that will be the last time they mess with our country.  Pretty sure our country wouldn't be fighting terrorism today if copies of Air Force One were sent to the Mideast and Harrison Ford took the realm.  Sitting next to Mr. Ford would be none other than Michael Douglas.  Just about every man was scared (insert choice word here) when Fatal Attraction came out in theaters, but eight years later and many hits later he gave us another blockbuster hit in The American President.  Michael Douglas has done both entertained and frightened us with his movies which are all very important in my book on being an American President.  He also deserves a place at my table because of the movie with Wall Street because I know we would not be in this crisis if he were sitting in the Oval Office.  Also, this would free up a Cabinet position for Charlie Sheen and we know what a smart guy he truly is.  

The last and definitely not least of Presidents sitting at my table would be the Governator Arnold.  Yes, I am well aware he never actually played as a President in a movie nor is he able to actually run for President in real life, but lets face it, he would if he could.  Really the only reason I would want him to sit at the table is because I used to love to do quotes from Kindergarten Cop.  I am pretty sure Chris Rock would keep repeating, 'It's not a tumor' and I would keep saying, 'Get out of the building.'  Not sure if we could actually get these four gentlemen together seeing the Governator is currently trying to secure the budget by taking pennies from the tray for everyone.

On another note, I have decided that I will not implore the cube nation to take action against Brittany's current boyfriend despite my lack of enthusiasm for her current facebook status.  I have been trying to think of several ways for this "meeting" so to speak between us to occur, but due to lack of knowledge of her current whereabouts I don't want to lead my readers to believe to take vengeance against Mr. Rottman for us to be together.  However, I have come up with a solution for those who really are looking for something to do besides update your facebook status every hour.  I know our potential meeting could occur on March 4th in Tampa. Despite my own lack of things to do, I have concluded a potential prank/late Valentine's Day gift to yours truly would be to join every facebook group with Brittany's name on it and telling her about why we are meant to be.  A little cliche, but I promise to my loyal readers if we can persuade a rendezvous in Tampa, I will not only post all pictures, but beg and plead that she do a guest blog.  This is a long shot, but one can hope anyways.  I did want to mention as well being the slacker that I am with this blog, but if you have any cool videos, links, or discussion topics you would like me to discuss on here you can email me at KylesBottomLine@yahoo.com.  I make no promises of anything being posted, but if your information is selected I will give you a shout out as well.  And if anyone has a better counter or can make banners, let me know so we can make the blog look a little more 21st Century.

Bottom Line: Who is your daddy, and what does he do?

Our dad is a real sex machine.

KylesBottomLine

Snow- Valentine

I hope my title doesn't confuse anyone because my intentions are definitely not for it to snow.  Anyone that knows me knows the last thing I want is another cold day with snowflake precipitation on the ground.  Today is a very unique and special day and because of that I am going to break some of the golden rules which were originally put into place.  Every woman looks forward to this day and just about every male is out scrambling around trying to find that perfect gift.  Now for the typical male that does not remember what today is, I will remind you, Valentine's Day.  Shock and awe I know, and if you completely forgot I highly suggest running to the local drugstore and picking up that last box of chocolates or ordering some flowers.  In honor of this special day, I myself have decided since I don't actually have a Valentine (girls eat your heart out), but if I did this is who it would be.  There are definitely a lot of pictures to chose from, but I think hands down Brittany Snow would be my choice.  Now I am looking to make this entry like a shrine of Brittany, but I do want to take a moment in honor of Valentine's Day to explain why she is my choice.  

For those of you looking to try and google Brittany Snow you might be surprised to find her hair is now brown and that she is actually dating someone else.  Ugh.  Well maybe not officially in public Hollywood, but I've done my homework and well sorry Mr. Rottman you are not getting the glory of getting a link in my blog to yourself(mind you I still make the rules here).  Anyways, besides her beauty and being what I call a perfect traditional age to mine of 22 soon to be 23, she and I compliment each other well.  She runs about every day which of course I do as well.  She hates math and claims she isn't very good with money, and well I am very good with both.  She is very private about her life outside of work which other than this blog I am am pretty tight lipped as well.  I think that was one of the things that I first really began to admire her for seeing she is a Hollywood celebrity I can only imagine how difficult it must be to keep your private life.  I can think of another Brittany who should be taking notes.  Another thing and I believe this was probably what really caught my eye was her talent for using her feet as hands and being able to pick up things with them.  Oddly enough, I was notoriously known for trying to use my feet to pick up things and occasionally still use this skill under drastic moments.  These are just a few things that drew myself to her, and well the more I learn the more I realize there could be no other choice.

With the realization that I look nothing like Hugh Grant nor having a British accent, I find my chances of pulling off another version of Notting Hill seems highly unlikely.  I did find it appropriate that it was aired today in my honor that one day she will walk into my life and realize what she has been missing.  One can dream I suppose.  Now another scenario would be for me to write her a letter and then go wait on top of the Empire State Building, but due to lack of funding and chances of this are higher for me to win the lottery that I don't play, I decided against it.  I do find myself pondering if people who have watched Sleepless in Seattle really do live out the movie and wait each year on the top.  I should also point out Brittany Snow loves Meg Ryan and I of course enjoy her acting as well.  I however have come up with a solution for our problem of not meeting yet.  I will be in Tampa in a few weeks which of course is her hometown and will be there off and on until her birthday.  Yes, I really have done my homework on this, and to add to my sappy post Valentine's Day plan I will end my entry by leaving you with one of the cheesiest lines of all time.  From the movie the Wedding Date, "I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met."

Bottom line: Enjoy the time with the one you love and if you don't have one, dream of the one you want to be with.

Excuse to play Tony Rich Project music videos.

KylesBottomLine

Dinner for Five Part I

Now that you have taken a break from filling out your TPS report or setting a new career high on Tetris, you find yourself reading about my nonsense.  I will be the first to admit I am still getting acquainted with the blogging world, and due to the lack of exciting things that occur in my life, I have also been a major slacker in keeping up with my posts.  To make it up to my loyal cube mates and the other few of you who got tired of updating your Facebook 'What are you doing" status.  I promise that these will become more entertaining in the next few posts and I wanted to start off with one of the most under appreciated TV series that you never heard of since 3South.  

The idea of the show created by Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn who you may be more familiar with them in movies like Swingers or the Breakup to name a few.  If you are scratching your head saying you hated the Breakup and the ending which I will be the first to admit, it was hard to watch is one thing, but if you are sitting there thinking the other term for a swinger and not the Vince Vaughn movie then you really are killing me right now.  Anyways, I have decided to make this into three parts because I absolutely could not narrow it down to just having dinner with just four other people.  Dinner for Five was a television series starring Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau where they would sit down with their friends and other famous faces talking about movies they have done and other interesting things about themselves while having dinner.  

The series obviously did not continue on for a long period of time, but anyone who wants to really see another side of a celebrity will really appreciate this unique series of comic television.  For those who have a real interest in this and a Netflix subscription, I highly recommend taking the time to watching some of the clips.  I will give you one example, and if you just want a taste, have a Netflix subscription, and a Xbox 360 you can watch a remake made several years later with the infamous 'you will shoot your eye out' kid, Justin Long or better known as the Mac guy and the kid who gets repeatedly drilled in the movie Dodgeball, and the brother, Keir O'Donnell,who has a crazy obsession with Vince in Wedding Crashers.

I of course am going to steal this idea and create my own.  The first series is if I could have dinner with four other entertainers who would they be.  I really did not need to take much thought to make this list truly.  First and foremost, would be Vince Vaughn.  Like he really needs an introduction and unless you haven't seen a comic movie in the last ten years, then I am sure you have seen something of his.  Vince is notoriously known to steal the show when up on the big screen and I can't think of anyone better to be at my table.  To go along with that late statement, it is only right and deserving to have Jon Favreau join the table as well because without him would just not feel right.  Now some may have seen the movie Rudy and remember the guy who helps Rudy study to get into Notre Dame.  Now I won't fault you for not recognizing Vince Vaughn in this movie either, but this was their first big break.  Now Jon has moved on to bigger and better things and maybe you saw his latest movie, and if you haven't well you really should.  Jon now does a lot more producing than being so money as characters in his movies, but it is safe to say the creator of Dinner for Five has earned his seat at my table.

The two other entertainers that have definitely earned a seat at my table have stood out since the first time I was entertained by their humor.  Maybe you saw the movie 40 year old virgin and cringed at the wax scene.  I started to link this part, but after watching it, I think the image will continue to haunt any man fearing the same fate is painful enough.  Steve Carell is probably better know as the great Michael Scott at Dundler Mifflin, but his big break definitely was from being the 40 year old sales guy who just somehow fell through the cracks.  Steve's sense of humor is a lot like my own, dry and not always stand out funny like Vince's, but you can't watch one of his movies and not laugh at some point.  He is one of my favorite up and coming actors and comedians and I definitely would love to add him to the dinner table.  The last and by no means is Jay Leno.  This man needs absolutely no introduction and I listen to his highlights every morning from my cube without a window.  The Tonight Show definitely is a great show and I look forward to it coming on at 10 so I can actually catch them live.  This would probably the best meal I would ever have if these gentlemen would sit and have a meal.  I am sure I would go as far to say I really wouldn't care what they would serve.  Now, as you sit and your cube and continue to space off waiting for the end of the day or your boss to leave so you can sneak out, I challenge each and every one of you to begin thinking who would you want sitting at your dinner table.  To be continued...

Bottom line: I will leave you with probably the greatest video game scene in a movie ever. ( I apologize for the language) Enjoy!

For Super Fan #99

KylesBottomLine